Academic Phrases-humor

Academic Phrases-author unknown

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation or academic paper.

“IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN”…
I didn’t look up the original reference.

“A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT”…
These data are practically meaningless.

“WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS”…
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

“THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY”…
The other results didn’t make any sense.

“TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN”…
This is the prettiest graph.

“THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT”…
I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.

“IN MY EXPERIENCE”…
Once.

“IN CASE AFTER CASE”…
Twice.

“IN A SERIES OF CASES”…
Thrice.

“IT IS BELIEVED THAT”…
I think.

“IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT”…
A couple of others think so, too.

“CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE” …
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

“ACCORDING TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS”…
Rumor has it.

“A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS”…
A really wild guess.

“A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA”…
Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a beer glass.

“IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS”…
I don’t understand it….and I never will.

“AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES”…
They don’t understand it either.

“A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY”…
A totally useless topic selected by my committee.

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INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

The Brain That Changes Itself-by Dr. Norman Doidge-The discovery of neuroplasticity, that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains, even into old age, is the most important breakthrough in our understanding of the brain in four hundred years. He introduces principles we can all use to overcome a number of brain limitations and explores the profound brain implications of the changing brain in an immensely moving book that will permanently alter the way we look at human possibility and human nature.

SPARK-by Dr. John Ratey is a groundbreaking exploration of the connection between exercise and the brain’s performance that shows how even moderate exercise will supercharge mental circuits to beat stress, sharpen thinking, enhance memory, and much more.SPARK will change forever the way you think about your morning run—or, for that matter, simply the way you think.

The Talent Code-by Daniel Coyle (New York Times bestselling author)

3 books by Malcom Gladwell: The Tipping point, Blink, Outliers

 

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